Call of Duty
By Bruce Mufson, LCSW
As I get older the questions that become more meaningful to me are, how have I lived my life, and was it meaningful? In essence, was I a ‘P.M.O.S’, a productive member of society? I began using that term after working with many kids who had major mental health issues. Their parents would often say what they wanted most for their children was to simply be a productive member of society. Not to be president, an astronaut, or a scientist, but a giver on some level and not just a taker.
I remember seeing a movie years ago, called Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. In one of the more memorable scenes in the movie, Russell Crowe’s character, Captain Jack Aubrey, has to give a eulogy about a young officer who had committed suicide. In talking about the officer, he made the comment, “The simple truth is that not all of us become the men we once hoped we might be”.
I once read about former Army Captain Florent Groberg, who had received the Medal of Honor for pushing away a suicide bomber from fellow soldiers in 2012 while serving in Afghanistan. His heroic actions saved numerous soldiers from being killed but as the result, he suffered life-threatening wounds to his leg, a blown eardrum, and a mild traumatic brain injury.
Then there was former Marine Lance Corporal Kionte Storey who had lost his right leg during battle in Afghanistan after he stepped on an IED while leading his unit on patrol. He said that he had experienced a wide range of emotions in the months following his injury as he battled PTSD and contemplated suicide, before finding salvation through sports and his beloved service dog. He had participated in the Las Vegas Half Marathon alongside other amputee athletes. He said he met people who were walking and told him, 'You inspired me to jog it,' or said, 'You motivate me to continue. I can't sit here and whine about running'. He also stated that to this day, he still struggles with symptoms of PTSD such as anxiety, nervousness, flashbacks and high sense of alertness.
Of course war tends to bring out behaviors that can either lead you to commit atrocities, or lead you to perform courageous acts in which the first thought in your mind is to think of others in the spirit of honor, duty, and sacrifice. What made these men go above and beyond? They did not have to put themselves in harm’s way yet something inside them made them push themselves even more than they normally do. The impact of their actions will have a lasting affect on everyone touched by their efforts.
While I may never get to the level of sacrifice as these men, I am conscious as a clinical social worker that my actions towards others have consequences far beyond what I will ever know. What I say to people does have the ability to influence their lives. This is something that I think about all the time and why I take what I do seriously. I see so much inept therapy out there that I want to be seen as providing some sort of clarity and reality.
So the question is, how does one become the kind of man described above when you don’t have war as a motivating factor? Just try and do the right things. Be there for your kids, try and get along with your spouse, give more then you take, and above all, let your actions define you. A misconception is that you have to perform some kind of grand action or feat. The reality is people crave consistency more than anything. When you can be relied upon even for the smallest of things, most of the time in life that will be enough. And if you are able to do something grand and noble, that is icing on the cake. The main thing is that you start from somewhere to get there.
About the author:
Bruce Mufson has a MSW from the University of Georgia, which he received in 1995. Throughout his 20+ years as a LCSW, Bruce has clinically assessed thousands of individuals. Bruce’s experience has been vast and wide and has come to include individual and group therapy, prison setting counseling for youth offenders, working with sex offenders, youth parole and probation.
